An Unfamiliar Feeling…

The girl I have been talking to just asked me if I have anxiety. For the first time EVER, I was hesitant to say yes.

I have always been very open about my mental health struggles with my friends and close family. Even if strangers ask, I am also very open because it’s nice to tell your story and bond with other people about similar issues. I’ve collected many preventative and coping skills this way.

So, when she asked me if I had anxiety, I was surprised at the feeling I got. I felt a little bit of embarrassment. I felt a little bit of shame. I felt a little bit exposed. However, I responded with a calm “yes” because I wasn’t going to hide something that is such a big part of my life. Eventually, it would have come up anyway.

I also explained to her that it doesn’t keep me from living my life. It makes living life more difficult, but it doesn’t keep me inside [anymore]. When I was much younger, I refused to leave the house for any reason other than to go to school. Now, I feel the same hesitancy, but I push through and do it anyway.

I think I felt a certain type of way about her asking because I have been going to therapy for over 2 months now. To me, therapy feels like taking medication that hides the symptoms, but it doesn’t cure the actual problem- it just helps you understand and deal with it. I guess I felt that because I was dealing with the problem (and its very visible symptoms), she didn’t need to be aware of its actual existence.

I think it’ll be fine. She did respond with a positive message after I said yes, so I don’t think I have anything to worry about.

Do any of you guys feel embarrassed or hesitant about informing possible romantic partners about your mental health struggles?

4 thoughts on “An Unfamiliar Feeling…

  1. Another wonderfully relatable post. I really enjoy your blog! Yes, I have trouble taking about depression, anxiety, and PTSD in the initial dating stages as well. Good job for saying something. I’ve been reluctant to go there in any serious way with the person I’ve been talking to, even though there’s been opportunity to bring it up. I’ve made offhand remarks but someone could easily write them off as me kidding around or something. I’ll have to bring it soon… He and I are rapidly approaching the dating stage where I always have an anxiety meltdown and start acting like a totally different person. (Now I’m mentally drafting a post about it… I’ll link to you and give you credit for the idea if I write it.)

    Like

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